2001 National SE-R Convention

When all the planning was said and done, we had settled on Memorial Day Weekend with a SpeedTrial USA event at the Jefferson Circuit. We had a few scares thrown in for good measure (such as the possibility of Summit cancelling the SpeedTrial event) but all wound up good in the end.

I took off from work Thursday May 24, Friday May 25, and Tuesday May 29…. Thursday morning I had planned on quickly getting my car inspected, washing it, packing, and being in DC by 3 or 4PM. Well, I got to the inspection station at 6:40 and, as I pulled into their driveway, the ‘check engine’ came on. Figures! I wound up failing for emmissions. My NOX reading was 1443 and the acceptable limit is 1134. My dealer is about two blocks away so I drove there to find out what the ‘check engine’ was. Turned out to be for the EGR. They tried cleaning it but the switch was not working. Since they didn’t have an EGR, I had to go without one for the weekend. They rigged the EGR to stay open so that I wouldn’t have to take the heat for having a check engine light all weekend. I wound up getting home way later than anticipated. I washed the car and started packing it. At this point, it was nearly 3 o’clock! Argh!

I finally got on the road around 4 and called Peter Jackson to let him know I was running late. Peter and I had made plans to meet up on Thursday night and go out. My drive was very uneventful not having any other SE-Rs to caravan with

I got to the hotel around 8PM and saw a black 200 sitting in the parking lot. I didn’t think it was Peter’s car. I parked next to it and saw that it had Kansas plates so I figured it was Brad Woodworth. I met Brad in the parking lot and we bullshitted for a while before I got a call from Peter. Peter had been delayed by a flood on 81 and was going to be late. Then, Lee called to see where we were since I told him we’d meet up for dinner. I checked into the hotel and went up to my room. It was a room with 1 king size bed! I had specified that I wanted two twin beds. Luckily they were able to change me to a smoking room with two twins.

Brad and I took off and we finally got to Lee’s around 9:30 or so. Brad, Lee, and I went to a local Irish hangout in Alexandria. Brad and I didn’t get back to the hotel until late that night so we both decided to sleep in a bit.

I woke up around 8:30 when David Evans called to get directions to my house (I had left behind some stuff and asked him to pick it up on his way down). So I got up and took a shower only to find that the free breakfast ended a couple of minutes before I got down there. D’oh! I hung out in the parking lot with Peter and Bruce Hearn for a while before Larry MacLeod showed up. Larry and I took off for the track to verify the directions we had and see how long it took from the hotel.

Larry and I got back in the early afternoon and there were more people starting to show up. Larry tried to check in and they gave him a room with a king bed. Larry told them that he had reserved two twins. They told him “that’s not what you requested. I have it right here. You wanted a king size” So we had a problem. The hotel had tried the same thing with me and Peter the night before. We had a little talk with them explaining that everyone was planning on having 3 beds. They agreed to reserve all of the rollaway beds for us in case there were any further problems. There didn’t seem to be any further problems.

I left around 3:30 looking for a do-it-yourself car wash and to verify the directions to the restaurant. No car washes were found but I did find the restaurant. Shortly before I arrived, I hit some pretty bad traffic so I called the rest of the guys to head out.

I hung out in the parking lot for a while before Pat Griffith showed up. Then, came Lee Koloszyc. Shortly after that, came Alex Cummings. We were all hanging out waiting for some more people to show up (the reservation was for 50-60) when Ray Kawski called me. He told me that they had been running into problems. Uncle Chuck’s car (Chuck Cragnolin) had stalled on them and they had now tracked it down to the distributor. They were on their way but in heavy traffic. So that group of 15 or so guys wasn’t going to make it to the dinner in time. So immediately, I’m down to 35-45 guys. After another group arrived from the hotel, we went into the restaurant. I immediately told them that we were down to about 40-50 people. I think we wound up with about 25. Fortunately, they weren’t terribly busy and we weren’t holding up any of their tables.

The restaurant we were at was a sort of all-you-can-eat. They had a salad bar and they also had guys going around with skewers of meat (they were called cowboys). Everyone had this little wood peg on their table with one end green and the other red. If you have it turned up green, the cowboy stops to bring some meat. If it’s red, he’ll just keep walking. We just kept it green for most of the time we were there. The food was awesome and we had a pretty good time.

It came time for the typical prank of giving someone the birthday cake. Earlier in the day, Larry MacLeod had asked who’s birthday it’d be. I told him that it would have to be something that I’d decide on the spur of the moment. I remembered and took one quick look around and my eyes didn’t get too far. Sitting two people down from me was Pat Griffith and his girlfriend Karen Krauss… Karen’s a big f-body fan and almost anti-Nissan (except with a group this large) so I decided she’d be the perfect person to pull the prank on). I got our waiter and explained that it was her birthday. Karen turned bright red (someone commented that she was the color of Pat’s hair) when they tied baloons to her chair. They came out with a birthday cake and one of the waiters starts singing Happy Birthday opera style… real loud and drawn out… pretty embarassing when you have all these people that work there along with 20 others signing Happy Birthday to you! Karen kept blaming Pat for it. Pat just grinned and denied it. We all know it was your idea Pat

Everyone headed back to the hotel for the surprise and track seminar. When we got back, there were some other SE-Rs in the parking lot that weren’t there before. I quickly went around to find the guy from Nissan that was supposed to meet me at the hotel. Way back in January at the Detroit Autoshow, Larry MacLeod and I had commented on how cool it’d be to get the new 2002 SE-R at the convention. I had spoken with various people from Nissan and eventually someone got it to happen. They’d have the showcar available to us on Friday night. So I figured prior to the track seminar, we could all check out the show car in the parking lot. The gentleman from Nissan was Ivars. Ivars got us the car and showed everyone everything they wanted. Ivars was a great guy and was just as interested about the club as the club was in the car! He even wanted some pictures with us and the car. I’ve spoken with Ivars a few times since the convention so I think he may continue to be interested in the club and the SE-R crowd. We’ve got a new fan!

As we were standing around outside checking out the new SE-R, Bruce Hearn took someone up the street for a short while. We saw Bruce making the turn back onto the street that the hotel’s on when WHAM! A Civic had rear-ended a Mustang. We all cheered because two rivals had been taken out with one shot! It wsa pretty funny. We all told Bruce that the Civic rear-ended the Mustang because they were paying so much attention to how PHAT Bruce’s car was.

George Roffe organized the track seminar and was already in the process by the time I joined. George explained all about track ettiquette and how to handle yourself on the track. He went over car control and was very valuable to those new people. Hell, I’m sure even the older SE-R guys learned some stuff from George and the questions asked. We finished up the track seminar around 10 o’clock and most people stood around and introduced themselves to each other. I suggested that everyone go to bed early but I know I wound up going to bed around 12:30.

I had told a few that I’d be leaving at 6 the following morning so that I could get to the track early. I got downstairs to find a crowd of about 20 people! Last thing I needed because I know how large crowds always take SO much longer to organize. We wound up leaving the hotel around 6:10 and got on the road. Once we’re on the road, Jim Schumacher pulls up and tells me that him and Mark Schoenholz needed gas pretty bad. There are no (or very little) gas stations out that way. Then, I was told that I had to drive slow because Mike Pahls was with us trailering his car. This is exactly what I was trying to avoid by leaving so early. So we got to a town that I pulled off the highway and went into looking for a gas station. It took forever for everyone to fill up. I eventually thought we were all ready to go and started to leave. I looked behind me a mile down the road to see two cars behind me. I didn’t really feel like going back. Everyone was given a directions packet and I needed to get to the track early. Joe Diminno called me and asked if I realized there was only one (actually two) car with me. I told him that I had to get to the track and gave him the directions over the phone. It poured almost all the way out to the track. The weather did not look good. As we got closer, I started to be pissed that I had my race tires taking up my entire backseat (not that I was going to use it anyway) and that I hadn’t pumped up the pressures in my street tires.

I got to the track around 7:15 and it stopped raining! It was overcast but not raining. I unloaded my car and changed tires… it got almost sunny out! Jon Felton organized tech and started to run through the cars. Unfortunately, it was taking way too long. So we wound up recruiting some people to help with tech so that we could get cars on the track as soon as possible. My original intention was to get 4 or 5 sessions each out of the day. I quickly realized that wouldn’t be possible since we’d need to break for lunch. When tech was taking longer, I realized again that we’d have to cram to get 4 sessions in.

My original plan was to have the driver’s meeting at 8:30 and have first car out around 9. Well, when we started the driver’s meeting at 9:15, that wasn’t too promising! Jon, again, organized the driver’s meeting and got up and basically reitterated everything George had gone over the previous night. Jon also gave some track-specific information like braking points and turns to look out for. After the driver’s meeting, we continued with tech and the instructors (first group) got anxious so they went out. Many, many thanks to Ben Rockwell for hanging around for most of his first session to help me get through the rest of the tech line! I had wanted to catch a ride with Wade Jackson on his first session but he was already out there… in fact, I was busy the entire time the instructors were out. I was still running around getting stuff done for people and tech’ing cars when it was time for my run group. I literally ran over to my car, put my harness together, jumped in, and took off. No time to think about anything; just go!

Jason Schymanski asked for a ride since he had never been to a track event before. I half warned him that I was not the proper person to be riding with but he came out anyway. I tried to talk Jason through different parts of the track and where I was braking and turning in and everything else. I guess you could say that I tought him how not to drive the track Anyway, it was a pretty uneventful session. I basically pointed everyone by and took it easy and had a great time. It was so cool to be out on the track with ALL SE-Rs. During the session, a squirrel had wandered onto the track and someone had hit it. I later heard that it was Joe Diminno and heard stories from Mark Schoenholz how he saw it come spinning out from under Joe’s car. Also during that session, I came down the front straight to see a grey Classic sitting on the side. It was Steve Attwood (the guy that drove from Washington State!) I was horrified to see him not moving! It later turned out that a bolt for his motor mount had come out and it was a fairly simple fix.

The next group out was the intermediate group. When setting up run groups, I had figured that the intermediates would be ok to send out on their own provided we kept an eye on them. So I saw Stefan Barouth heading out and I decided to jump in with him to catch a ride. Turns out this became an instructed run group and I was somehow turned into an instructor. Me?!? I’ve only done a handful of track events before! I didn’t really instruct Stefan; I just gave him my opinion on a few turns and how I’ve taken it and how I’ve seen others take it.

The group after that was the beginners. Well, since we didn’t have enough instructors, people that probably shouldn’t be instructing (Larry MacLeod and myself come to mind) wound up instructing. I went out with Bill Conners. I took the wheel (as did most instructors I think) for the first several laps. I showed Bill around the track and was amazed at his brake pedal. It was the stiffest brake pedal I’ve ever felt! Including any SE-R with NX brakes and Bill didn’t have NX brakes and hadn’t even bled his brakes recently (to the best of my knowledge). I couldn’t believe the pedal feel! We came around one lap ready to pull in to swap and there was a line of cars nearly coming out onto the track. Seems all instructors decided to swap out at the same time. We took a few more laps and came in. Bill went out and I let him drive for a bit. The few turns that I felt unsafe in, I let him know and told him to turn more or slow down more. I helped him a bit I’d say but not much. Maybe it was me? Either way, he did get a bit better on most of the turns. The one turn (which everyone was having trouble with) was the big, 180 degree turn from the back straight onto the front straight. No matter how I told Bill to take the turn, he had trouble. I was going to ask Bill to pull in so I could take the car out and show him again but we were nearing the end of the session. I thought maybe a better instructor could help him with that turn his next session out.

When I came in, there were tons of people needing this that and the other (including some that still needed to be tech’d I think) So the entire next instructor session, I spent doing stuff around the paddock for others. I did manage to get my video camera and hook it up for my next session though.

Next session out for me, I took Michele Reynolds (Tom Reynolds’ wife) for a ride. As I pulled up to the pit out lane, I noticed that my brake pedal was going to the floor when I hit it… and I wasn’t even on the track yet! Oh well, no brakes for the rest of the day. Once again, it was great to be out there with so many other SE-Rs. I had a blast. I think Michele enjoyed the ride as well. Once again, I pointed just about everyone by. My car wasn’t handling all that great and I didn’t have a chance to fool with tire pressures because there were so many people needing something in between my sessions plus every intermediate and beginner I was out in a car. Didn’t matter a whole lot to me because I still had fun even though my car sucked. This session was the session Larry Weeks went off as he was coming onto the back straight. You can just barely see it on my in-car video. You can hear Michele and I commenting on it.

The next intermediate that I went out with was Reese Aguilar. Reese was a pretty good driver and knew pretty much what he was doing so I just observed. I gave him a few pointers here and there but for the most part he was ok and I was just there for the ride

The beginner after that, I went out with a young kid in a G20. Sorry, I don’t remember his name but it was a Silver G20 with an automatic. This guy was pretty good. I just sat and watched him. I told him a few places where I was doing something a bit different and he tried it. Whether he agreed with me or not, I don’t know but I suspect it made him a bit faster. Not much though. He was actually taking the turn onto the front straight better than me! I tried it his way during my next session but it didn’t quite work for me. During the session, I rememember seeing Marc Anderson travelling pretty slow around the back straight. I gave him the finger (basically just saying ‘nyah nyah, we’re passing you’). I later found out that he mis-shifted and blew a rocker arm. Fortunately it was easily fixed at the end of the day and he was able to drive his car home. Amazing little cars, I tell ya!

At lunch, I don’t even remember who else was sitting at my table besides Ray and Mike Kojima. Mike was cracking everyone up! He told us a few stories about racing. You really have to hear Mike tell the story in his surfer accent but it was hilarious I promise you!

The first story was about racing in the Speedvision series. There was a race at Phoenix International Raceway. Mike was in one of the slower touring cars out on the oval and was side by side with three other touring cars. They were all banging into each other for positions when they noticed the GT cars coming up FAST from behind. Mike explained how not only do you have to worry about the touring cars next to you trying to push you off the road but you also have to worry about the GT cars behind who are deciding to use your car to brake and slow down for turn-in! So he said the GT cars save their brakes by using up the touring cars’ brakes instead! Pretty funny (especially the way he told it).

His next story was about how he’s got bad night vision. He was part of a race team that was racing at a 12 hour race at Sebring. Sebring is a pretty dark course at night and it’s hard to see some turn-ins. There was one corner they had marked with cones and flashlights in the cones. During the course of the race, however, the cones had all been scattered. Mike’s team asked him to do a night stint. Mike refused citing his horrible night vision. His team did not want to hear of it and they plopped him in the car. Mike went out and after a few laps, he noticed that the short chute was getting increasingly long. Mike was building more and more speed and starting to feel uncomfortable. Next thing he was blowing by the hangars at 120MPH! There were mechanics out working on their planes as Mike went blowing by them. He had to slam on the brakes, turn the car around, and go back to ask the mechanics how to get back to the racetrack. Meanwhile Mike’s team is calling him on the radio worried about where he was. He just reported back to them “Uh, I’m kinda lost”

My next session, I took out Walter Sparks. No big deal. He really enjoyed it and I continued to be pissed off at my car and tire pressures since I was still pushing like a pig.

My last session of the day, I was able to go out on my own and finally push the car. I’m not comfortable pushing the car with others in the car with me. Plus, it would just look like I was showing off. I’m not a showboat so I took it easy with others in the car. This last session was different though. I had no one with me and it was our last session so I decided to go balls-to-the-wall. I line up at the pit out and who’s behind me but Mark Schoenholz and then Jim Schumacher. We had talked about setting this up so that the three of us (along with Ray Kawski) could ‘race’ each other and see who’s faster. I wasn’t terribly comfortable because of the way my car had been handling. On the warmup lap, I let the car in front go quite a bit before we took the green for our first lap. I went into the first couple of turns gingerly because the tires were still fairly cool. I headed toward the turn onto the back straight and WHOA the car turned itself around. Now Mark was RIGHT on my ass, so I was fully expecting a loud thump on my rear. Somehow, Mark managed to avoid me and go around. But I wound up taking out an apex cone and putting it into the middle of the track. I wound up on the inside of the turn on the grass. Jim drives by pointing and laughing as did Larry Weeks. I’m sure there were others but that’s all you can hear/see on my video. I pulled into the hot pit and go up to Jon Felton. He asks why I’m there when a corner worker announced over the radio “We have a cone in the middle of the track” I just shouted “that’s me!” I explained to Jon what had happened and he checked the car before letting me go. I took a quick look to see none other than Schoenholz coming onto the front straight as I was pitting out. I got out in front of him (they were under full course yellow because of the cone on the track. (Oops) As we came around on the first lap to that turn that I spun in, I gave Mark and Jim and everyone else behind me that had laughed at me the finger. The rest of the session was uneventful with the exception of Larry Weeks pulling his car off the track to the side in the grass. I honked at him each time I went by. Hey, he made fun of me so…..

After coming in off that session, I wound up bullshitting with people and changing my tires back. At the end of the day, Felton told me that since I had spun, it was my responsibility to go out and pick up all the cones off the track. I got a ride with a friendly young 240SX owner that was there in his hatchback. I wanted so bad to pick up the dead squirrel but didn’t have a plastic bag or anything with me. I wanted to present it to Joe on Sunday at the picnic.

A bunch of us left for the hotel together. We waited for Marc’s valve cover to be buttoned up before we left. I don’t know exactly how many SE-Rs left the track with us, but I DO know that I looked in my rearview at one point to see a LOT of headlights behind me. It was really, really cool! We got out to the main road and many needed to stop for gas. I was ok but figured we might as well keep the caravan. So all 15 or so of us pulled into the gas station. As we were all ready to leave, another group of SE-Rs went flying by on the highway. We pulled out and gave chase. Too bad the light at the intersection about 60 feet down the road turned red! We eventually caught up with them and caravaned the rest of the way. I have video of all the cars both flying by me and me going by them. There were 15-20 SE-Rs!

That night for dinner, I figured that everyone would break up into smaller groups. Therefore, I didn’t have anything planned for dinner. I told maybe 5 people to meet me in the lobby around 8. I figured I’d get together a group of maybe 10 people or so tops and go grab some food. I went downstairs at 8 and whoa! There were 30 or so people waiting for me to go eat. I had no problem with that. In fact, I thought it was pretty cool that everyone wanted to go eat together. Shows how close the group is! Ray went and talked to the people at the front desk about places to go eat. They suggested some places and actually offered to drive us there using the hotel shuttle van. Cool! We piled a bunch of people into the van to go where we were eating and it still took 3 trips.

I was in the last group that got picked up. The driver was Chris (the night manager) and he heard everyone talking about being at the racetrack that day so the aggression rubbed off on him and he started speeding around the roads. I guess the other two van-fulls had egged him on as well. We got to the place we were supposed to be going and apparently the two van-fulls ahead of us had gone to a different place. My group of 10 or 12 people wound up at an oriental place. Let’s see, we had Joe Diminno, Mark Schoenholz, Marc Anderson, Ryan Walsh, Larry Weeks along with his wife Larry MacLeod? Ajay Sharma, Mike Pahls, Tom and Michele Reynolds, Eric Waterman and his fiancee, and some others that are escaping my mind right now. We were loud as the SE-R crowd usually is.

After dinner, I called the hotel to get the van to come back and pick us up. As we stood outside, we saw one of the other groups across the street obviously waiting for the van as well. I suggested we walk across the street and head in the direction the van would be coming from and intercept the van. We successfully got across the street and down the street a bit before we saw the van come from a different direction. We all started shouting and creating a ruckus but the other group just continued to pile into the van. Our group ran over and started powering their way into the van as well. I saw a bunch of people getting into the rear of the van where the luggage is supposed to go so I jumped in back there. We had (no kidding) about 6 or 8 people in the back! It was a 15-passenger van and we had 25 or so people packed into that van! As we closed the door in the rear, someone inquired what we’d do if pulled over by a cop. Everyone kind of laughed and then someone pointed out that there was a cop behind us. Chris started to take off but the cop shined his spotlight in the rear of the van. We all tried to duck down but it was impossible with so many people. The cop wound up pulling us over.

The cop opened the rear of the van and we were all hurting from laughing so hard (all sober as can be by the way). The cop just tells us that we’d have to get out. Out jumps Ajay shouting “SE-R power!” Then, someone else told the cop that it was racial profiling and that they pulled us over because we were white. The cops just turned around laughing.

While we waited on a side street for the police to return, Mark Schoenholz and I saw a pretty attractive woman come running across from the other side of the street and poke her head in the window of a parked car. We both kind of wondered out loud if she was a prostitute. Mark was more polite in calling her a ‘working girl’ Anyway, the car took off down the street and she followed on foot. We saw them talking down the street and Ajay and I started to shout down the street. I just kept shouting “Hey, how much” and Ajay kept shouting dollar amounts. Eric Waterman just sat there thinking out loud that this was his night to die. No worries Eric, we got you home, right?

The van came back and we all piled in. Joe went back for Ray and Jim who were still in the Mexican place hitting on a mother/daughter combo. We drove around the block and came back to pick them up. We had 2 spots in the van and there were 5 of them including the mother and daughter. As we pulled around, out come the police. They had their eye on this van now! So we called Joe on his cell phone and told him to meet us down the street. They all came running down the street and flopped into the van. Most particularly, the daughter. Oh, by the way, the mother and daughter were completely drunk! The daughter plopped herself directly into Larry Weeks’ lap (with his girlfriend sitting directly next to him… Larry’s girlfriend later called the daughter “That bitch”) She appologized to Larry for “wiping my ass all over your shit” It was a fun (and loud) ride back to the hotel.

Ray and Jim managed to take about 5-10 minutes to scare the girls off. The rest of us sat around in the lobby of the hotel drinking for a while. Mike Kojima recapped some of his funny racing stories. There were plenty of racing stories now that everyone was loosening up a bit. I went to bed pretty early as I was tired and knew that Sunday would be a long day as well.

Sunday morning I got up, ate breakfast, and got over to the picnic location. I met up with Reese Aguilar around 11 and the caterer came shortly thereafter. Over the next hour or so everyone else started showing up. We had an awesome day with some awesome food and some REALLY cool raffle prizes. It was great to be able to relax at the picnic this year and not have to rush out to the track event like last year. Everyone was very relaxed.

After eating, everyone went out to vote on Best of Show, Best NX, Classic, 200, Sentra, Matt Kempe Award, and Longest Drive (which was kind of a given). I wanted to gather everyone up and I was just starting when everyone look to the skies to see some pretty dark, threatening clouds. We had the food and raffle prizes under the shelter so I figured I’d let nature gather everyone up. Sure enough, it started raining and everyone gathered under the shelter and we were off with our raffle prizes and vote tallying. I sat with Michele Reynolds tallying votes as Ray and Kerry went through all the raffle prizes. I was AMAZED with how many raffle prizes we had. The raffle took the better part of 30 to 45 minutes!

The winners of all the raffle prizes is here.

Best of Show went to Ralphy Louis, Best Classic went to Jim Schumacher, Best NX went to Matt Ostlund, Best 200 went to Reese Aguilar, Best Sentra SE went to Ray Kawski, Longest Drive went to Steve Attwood (with a very honorable mention to Peter Jackson who drove from New Mexico!), and the Matt Kempe Award for Spirit and Enthusiasm went to Kieran Lavin. After the raffle prizes and awards, the sun was back out so everyone was milling about again. Mike Kojima pulled out his consult and started diagnosing problems from Slow Ass 96 Syndrome to erratic idles. Rob Cadle quickly reminded me of the fact that we were missing free cocktail hour at the hotel. I gathered up as many as I could and headed back to the hotel. We grabbed the food that was left behind by the caterer as well.

On the way back to the hotel on the Toll Road, right before our exit, what do we see but an SE-R pulled over by the cops. Joe Diminno. He told us that he was going with the flow of traffic when he was singled out (probably because he has a rollcage) and pulled over. It was RIGHT before our exit too. We got back and sat around the bar for a while drinking them dry. There was a bunch of people inside and there was a bunch outside. I looked toward the outside and saw everyone looking at the sky. I figured something was up. Remember, last year, Mike Kojima freaked out about a funnel cloud at the track. So I thought there’d be some entertainment in going outside and joining everyone.

I went out to see some pretty threatening clouds. I immediately searched out for Mike. He came running toward me and asked for shelter. We all stood around for a while looking at the clouds. The thing that made this funnier than last year was the fact that we were drinking when it happened this year. Larry MacLeod had his video camera and handed it to me to videotape the whole thing. I got some pretty good video of Mike flipping out over another possible tornado at a convention! I told Mike it was better because he had a drink in his hand. He replied “Hell yeah, I’m gonna die a happy man!” He then asked for a cigarette. He doesn’t smoke! He again replied that he wanted to die a happy man. Someone lit the cigarette for him and he stared at it wondering what to do with it. Then he tried taking a puff. But he put the cigarette out. If you look at the video I took, all you see is Mike and then the ground and Mike and the ground… I was laughing so hard! He eventually did take a puff and then immediately squatted down on the ground like he was going to take a shit! No tornados resulted but I think we all came close to pissing in our pants!

We all met in the lobby again to go for dinner. We decided to go to a pretty nearby steakhouse. I was, again, part of the last group. Everyone jumped into the van and as I settled in in the back, we took off. I looked back to the hotel to see Peter Maignan in the doorway to the hotel. I shouted up to the driver that we needed to go back for Peter. Everyone was laughing. I thought they were laughing because we had left Peter behind. But then I saw the driver of the van behind Peter. Huh!?!? I look back at who’s driving the van and it’s Ajay! Ajay takes the van to one side of the lot and the driver runs toward us. Ajay takes the van to the other side. The driver runs after us. Ajay goes up the middle of the parking lot and the driver’s still chasing us. Next thing, out comes Chris (the manager) and he’s doubled over laughing because he knew it was us. The driver had that look in his eyes like he was really scared that he’d get fired.

The only funny thing I can remember from dinner was that Mike tried to order a sundae and the girl asked him which one he wanted because they had several on the menu. Mike just beconed “I want one this big” with his hands. She told him he needed to tell her what kind he wanted. He just told her “this big” They had a bit of an argument but a sundae came. When they asked what I wanted for desert, I just pointed at what Mike had and asked for one of them.

As we climbed into the van to go back to the hotel, the driver looked at Ajay and told him “I’m watching you” Ajay just laughed and climbed into the van. While the driver was walking around to get in, Ajay reached forward and locked the door. The van was running with the keys inside and now the driver is locked out. He started banging on the window freaking out again. Ajay just sat there honking the horn to create more of a ruckus. The guy was still upset. He was ok once we unlocked the door though. On the way back to the hotel, we all tried egging the driver on. We tried to get him to peel out and race other cars from stoplights. Mike just sat in the van denying anything relation to any of us. He kept saying “this dude’s gonna kill us. I just want to let you know that they’ve kidnapped me” He said something like that.

We got back to the hotel to find all of our cars decorated in shaving cream. The only people that didn’t go with us to dinner were Lee, Matt, Marc, and Peter. We immediately looked for them but they all denied everything. Below is a listing of what was written on everyone’s car:

Ray Kawski “Baby on Board”
Goerge+Kerry Roffe “King and Queen Turd”
Ben Moses “Got Boost?”
Larry McLeod “Are you in Serca?”
Rob Cadle “I’m not only a member, I’m also the President”
Kieran Lavin “Guiness served here”
MarK Schoenholz “Motivational Rules”
Jim Schumacher “I like college girls”
Lee Koloszyc “Not so hot lap”
Kevin Hart “If you can read this you must be in a Metro”
Bruce Hearn “BiH”
Mike Kojima “Turn me over!” (upside down)
Ajay Sharma “Got the keys to the bus?” (I think)
Matt Ostlund: “Its 10:00 AM, are you drunk yet?”
Peter “Peter Beater” and drawing of the anatomy
Joe DiMinno “Up against the car and spread em’”

Eventually someone got Lee or Matt or someone to admit who had done it. I was up in someone’s room when the idea came across to dunk them in the pool. But it was after midnight! Everyone was out in the parking lot and Mike was back with the consult checking out cars. Larry and I went down and talked to Chris. Larry asked “Hey, can you open the pool for a few minutes?” Chris told us no. Larry told Chris “We have these friends we want to dunk in the pool; it’ll just take a minute” Chris told us “if you get them here, I’ll open the doors.”

I went outside and hung out for a while before Larry grabbed me to go over and help. I went over to Lee with Kevin Hart and grabbed him. Lee started kicking and screaming. He was trying his hardest to hurt us. I was just trying to be nice to him and get him in the pool as politely as possible with as little damage as possible. If I had known he was going to struggle and try so hard to hurt us, I would’ve just given him a good sucker punch to the side and paralyzed him for a few minutes till we had him in the pool. Oh well, guess I was too nice/polite. At one point, Lee was able to rid himself of Kevin. I, however, held on while he kicked and flailed and I think he even punched me in the face (my nose hurt for some reason after the whole ordeal and I can’t think of any other time he would’ve been able to get at my face). I held him till others came over. At that point, two people got each of his shoulders while myself and one other grabbed his legs. He tried kicking me in the crotch but missed. He did manage to shake his leg out of my grip at which point George (I think) grabbed him. Between George and Bruce, they controlled Lee and got him in the door. As we got close to the pool, Chris opened the door and guess who else decided to show up? Matt! We grabbed him as well. Matt didn’t put up a fight at all. He just asked us to remove his cell phone and cigarettes from his pockets. I think someone has some pictures of it. It was pretty funny.